Guilt and Burnout

Guilt comes up frequently in my work with founders because it's often a contributing factor to burnout. The function that guilt serves is that it's an elastic. It *snaps* us back into line. It keeps us from changing, or adjusting course, or moving in opposition to a known way of doing things. It removes from us the choice of deviation.

You can see then how guilt can stop founders from making changes, even if the changes are vital to the founder's well-being (and the company's success). Guilt disallows founders from making changes to their schedules - to allow for breaks, rest, or pauses to process and digest the day. Guilt stops founders from speaking up in relationship  - to ask for a change or to set a new expectation - when doing so is new or would go against the existing pattern in the relationship.

Guilt points to the way things are, or the way things were... and the implicit assumption is that it points to the way things always should be going forward.

But this is where guilt is wrong.

As much as guilt can indicate the way things "should be", it doesn't get to decide what ought to be. When you need something to be different and you rub up against a feeling of guilt when you consider acting on your need - you get to decide in the moment what the right course of action is for you.

Your guilt is not pointing you toward what you need - you are experiencing it because you are moving in the right direction for yourself. Keep going. Break through. Give yourself what you're needing - your guilt isn't smart enough to know.

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How to Implement Effective 1:1s

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A Red Flag Worth Listening To in the Trough of Sorrow